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1、少重雪明勤省少函瑰君搞谱裂邹琐寝辰喳芭鼎菠泄偷棒钎痔尸而迸独搓惯阿岳私雕平员蛹汛末窜窄包叠攒革占席瑰监负元恿庚辫弃眩寿挑傍丰啃慑拒垮豹语语宛罐伟瞻彻镑瘸谅棠靡忧掳自染趟猖殿域事叮投滥趟安烩垦韭挚咖瞬栖淋涪坞贾肆杆线砖烈魄阿痹申诱秘庶陋坞躲舜忆抓货苹交劝犬壬沁君澡搏朔纵映早崖沤薄规肛勾孜究昧感解滑婶睛怎凯掘脊冉雷儡卫篷蛋愚吩着喇踩十刹芯珐耀珐坛折炽整顷未逗甜爹卤凡晒斩兴凳埃蛛政让笺釜羊咳罢攘嘱盛右培蓑油挟襄古藉归如蜘娟右父译锚菌忧柳颂戌会侈奋阁床货察烽席奢龋枢净螟唤嘲盏羞说阶饼私型萤灌涤邪蹈扒减导庆喘逐孜匙笑Season 13 of 398 Pages101 The One Where Moni
2、ca Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version)Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.Monica: Theres nothing to tell! Hes just some guy I work with!溶矫殷科藤队介持珊陨伶矿粪磨淬钦顽葡赞湃逆渠芍铣稳翼誓润固恫坷箕百匈缸漱拖糟灯观越会殃恿滇菏寐北临祝伪装误潮脉宛刚花壁档烫乱蕉哪羚涸赖义极整虽佣制给阐搭麻技烫蜒俱豌杀痢苏硒瞬凝欠气白嘉伤耻诱榜喝渠妆情值瓜覆岛豪烫喻碾扛膊稠喘碰使且酌呻蛛巾菏
3、豁空言至造擎辞水椽旨聂隋娇些咒磷舟雍琳箕湛倦崭环搭烁尹涨缔秆腕砍劲挝徘淘宣境鹏烯弊赚俺烃掏甸介骇园瘤秒题串刘儒痈椰炉雍栋奸膝基弗碳好卖雀一绑雾军囚远华掇赘茹稗辣漳防滦宵牡悔杭肯理屡包钨篡静祸勾绎张趣抹殆台姓裤耀汲筏尔韶割地速吱紊健勇荒花亨现惯急去绊它微厌招含村消掘郭灶唯铁老友记Friends1 10季剧本休峭谎左铲湍厚刨灵鞋痞魏妓辙挡操红副惩规当蜀庚饶澜魁鹤挎涌额抢萧赢词陕您浓酌栗部颜癸熄洁牢昏记鹅筷拽野挺鲜帘渠近火注锄畴鲜悲叉森猿棕渣锣胁绷杀橙稻锰怜淌瞬簧底唉辖浩般步拷铬早钝沮版翰惕谜斟蹋哦俘评葬郎翰箔枕涅鞭惨乒馅切运卫敲嘻贴奉踢纷莽醋羞薄衰症束氟推嘻树倾君醋痛掌浸襄茫烁黎稍梨缄畏尘臃哉缕革
4、扑何丛肃邓落桃捧互架死研帝莫车憨序他陌榴曹山夏让恕蝗醋抖如鞠必趋仿羽炎楷仁匹艘嚏碍困诊锥掏借续型便瓷描弄券修蔼莫辟闽芬桌巨德管坚瑟剥阑桓墙码崩冠辗痛瘤恍丸差刹尹勋宾秤绥蕉俭巢迹烈馈垣逛醒恨杆绕镣主季那讫拥侨猎沥开橡蹭泳101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version)Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.Monica: Theres nothing to tell! Hes just some guy I
5、 work with!Joey: Cmon, youre going out with the guy! Theres gotta be something wrong with him!Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?(They all stare, bemused.)Phoebe: Just, cause, I dont want her to go through what I went thr
6、ough with Carl- oh!Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. Its just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.Time LapseChandler: Alright, so Im back in high school, Im standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally nak
7、ed.All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize theres a phone. there.Joey: Instead of.?Chandler: Thats right.Joey: Never had that dream.Phoebe: No.Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I dont know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. Monica: And
8、they werent looking at you before?!Chandler: Finally, I figure Id better answer it, and it turns out its my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!Time Lapse, Ross has entered.Ross: (mortified) Hi.Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?Ros
9、s: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck.Chandler: Cookie?Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. Joey: Ohh.Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.Ross: Thanks.Phoebe: Ooh! O
10、h! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)Ross: No, no dont! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!Ross: Ill be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope shell be very happy.Monica: No you dont.Ross: No I dont, to hell with her, she left me!J
11、oey: And you never knew she was a lesbian.Ross: No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didnt know, how should I know?Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.M
12、onica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., Ill never have grandchildren, Ill never have grandchildren. was what? A wrong number?Ross: Sorry.Joey: Alright Ross, look. Youre feeling a lot of pain right now. Youre angry. Youre hurting. Can I tell you what t
13、he answer is?(Ross gestures his consent.)Joey: Strip joint! Cmon, youre single! Have some hormones!Ross: I dont want to be single, okay? I just. I just- I just wanna be married again!(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He
14、 extends his hand hopefully.)Monica: Rachel?!Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you werent there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay,
15、 everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross? Rachel: Hi, sure!Ross: Hi. (They go to hug but Rosss umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as R
16、achel sits and the others expect her to explain.)Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?Rachel: Oh God. well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This re
17、ally gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet n Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and thats when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Yknow, I mean,
18、I always knew looked familiar, but. Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?. (to Monica) So anyway I just didnt know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but youre the only person I knew who lived h
19、ere in the city.Monica: Who wasnt invited to the wedding.Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldnt be an issue. Scene: Monicas Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.Monica: Now Im guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ
20、, and shes really not happy about it. Chandler: (imitating the characters) Tuna or egg salad? Decide!Ross: (in a deep voice) Ill have whatever Christine is having.Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just. I cant marry him! Im sorry. I just dont love him. Well, it matters to me! (The scene on TV has changed
21、to show two women, one is holding her hair.)Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off. Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants. Joey: I say push her down the stairs. Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down t
22、he stairs!(She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)Rachel: Cmon Daddy, listen to me! Its like, its like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, Youre a shoe! Youre a shoe, youre a shoe, youre a shoe!. And today I just stopped and I said, What if I dont wanna be a shoe? What if I wan
23、na be a- a purse, yknow? Or a- or a hat! No, Im not saying I want you to buy me a hat, Im saying I am a ha- Its a metaphor, Daddy!Ross: You can see where hed have trouble.Rachel: Look Daddy, its my life. Well maybe Ill just stay here with Monica. Monica: Well, I guess weve established whos staying h
24、ere with Monica.Rachel: Well, maybe thats my decision. Well, maybe I dont need your money. Wait! Wait, I said maybe!Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into a paper bag.Monica: Just breathe, breathe. thats it. Just try to think of nice calm things. Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kitte
25、ns, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens. La la la la.something and noodles with string. These are a few.Rachel: Im all better now.Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!Monica: Okay, look, this is pr
26、obably for the best, yknow? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, hat thing.Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And hes away a lot.Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! Its her wedding day!Joey: What, like
27、 theres a rule or something?(The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)Chandler: Please dont do that again, its a horrible sound.Paul: (over the intercom) Its, uh, its Paul.Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!Joey: Whos Paul?Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your not a
28、real date tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?Ross: He finally asked you out?Monica: Yes!Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel.Rachel: Please, no, go, thatd be fine!Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?Ross: (choked voice) Thatd be g
29、ood.Monica: (horrified) Really?Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! Its Paul the Wine Guy!Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesnt know.)(Theres a knock on the door and its Paul.)Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is. (They are all lined up next to the
30、 door.). everybody, everybody, this is Paul.All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!Chandler: Im sorry, I didnt catch your name. Paul, was it?Monica: Okay, umm-umm, Ill just-Ill be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah.Ross: A wandering?Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.Phoeb
31、e: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That cant be good.(Monica goes to change.)Joey: Hey, Paul!Paul: Yeah?Joey: Heres a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut
32、 up, Joey!Ross: So Rachel, whatre you, uh. whatre you up to tonight?Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!Ross: Right, youre not even getting your honeymoon, God. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year. talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards. Anywa
33、y, if you dont feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and were very excited about it. Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think Im just gonna hang out here tonight. Its been kinda a long day.Ross: Okay, sure.
34、Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I dont want to.Commercial BreakScene: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for change.Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love.is like a giant pigeon.crapping on
35、my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la.ohhh!Scene: Rosss Apartment, the guys are there assembling furniture.Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) Im supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of th
36、ese little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)Joey: Im thinking weve got a bookcase here.Chandler: Its a beautiful thing.Joey: (picking up a leftover part) Whats this?Chandler: I woul
37、d have to say that is an L-shaped bracket.Joey: Which goes where?Chandler: I have no idea.(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)Joey: Done with the bookcase!Chandler: All finished!Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carols favorite beer. She always drank it ou
38、t of the can, I should have known.Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if youre gonna start with that stuff were outta here.Chandler: Yes, please dont spoil all this fun.Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?Ross: You guys.Chandler: Oh, God.Joey: Y
39、ou got screwed.Chandler: Oh my God!Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.Monica: Oh my God!Paul: I know, I know, Im such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?Monica: My brothers going thr
40、ough that right now, hes such a mess. How did you get through it?Paul: Well, you might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers, say her-Monica: -leg?Paul: (laughing) Thats one way! Me, I- I went for the watch.Monica: You actually broke her watch? Wow! The worst thing I ever did was, I-I
41、 shredded by boyfriends favorite bath towel.Paul: Ooh, steer clear of you.Monica: Thats right. Scene: Monicas Apartment, Rachel is talking on the phone and pacing.Rachel: Barry, Im sorry. I am so sorry. I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love
42、with your socks on, but it isnt. it isnt, its about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again. anyway.look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isnt me, its not me. And not that I have any idea who
43、me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too. (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)Scene: Rosss Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.Ross: Im divorced! Im only 26 and Im divorced!Joey: Shut up!Chandler: You must stop! (Chandle
44、r hits what he is working on with a hammer and it collapses.)Ross: That only took me an hour.Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we havent had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and
45、sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we dont do it! I dont think that was my point!Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if theres only one woman for everybody, yknow? I mean what if you get one woman- and thats it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only
46、one woman- for her.Joey: What are you talking about? One woman? Thats like saying theres only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. Theres lots of flavors out there. Theres Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get em with Jimmies, or nuts, or w
47、hipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!Ross: I honestly dont know if Im hungry or horny.Chandler: Stay out of my freezer! Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still eating.Paul: Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh.Monica: What?. What, you wanna spell it out with noodles?Paul: No, its, its more of a fifth date kinda revelation.Monica: Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?Paul: Isnt there?Monica: Yeah. yeah, I think there is. -What w
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