课程内容大纲.ppt

课程内容大纲：,第一部分：个人与自我的关系(自爱) 第一讲：他人眼中我为谁？ 第二讲：理解自我 第三讲：建立品格 第四讲：承担责任 第二部分：自我与他人关系(他爱博爱) 第五讲：建立友谊 第六讲：欣赏他人 第七讲：处理冲突 第八讲：尊重他人 第三部分：爱情与婚姻(婚爱) 第九讲：何为爱情？ 第十讲：为什么等待 第十一讲：预备婚姻 第十二讲：好人可能染上爱滋病吗？ 第四部分：自我、博爱与婚恋关系 第十三讲：成功生活的基础 第十四讲：处理压力 第十五讲：自我、博爱与婚恋关系,课堂讨论活动:彼此了解 女生的问题: 从你喜欢的男生身上你真正要得到什么东西或品格? 猜一猜:你认为男生会喜欢怎样的女生? 男生的问题 从你喜欢的女生身上你真正要得到什么东西或品格? 猜一猜:你认为女生会喜欢怎样的男生?,课堂报告:,给出的答案和猜测的答案有什么相同和不同? 从讨论中学到了什么?,IS IT LOVE OR SOMETHING ELSE? 是爱吗？还是别的什么？,I. Student Activity: 学生活动:,Dear , Last week I met a boy who is very good looking. He thinks Im really pretty, too. We went for a walk together, and after the walk, he kissed me. He's a really good kisser, and we kissed for a while. I'm not sure I should have kissed him so soon - I mean, maybe he kisses a lot of girls. But still, I can't wait to see him again. Do you think I'm in love? Laura 亲爱的： 上一周我遇到了一个长得很帅的男孩子。他也觉得我很漂亮 我们一起散步，之后他吻了我。他是个接吻高手，我们吻了很 久。我不知道自己是否应该这么快就跟他接吻，我想，他是不 是吻过许多女孩。但是，我还是迫不及待想见他。你觉得我是 不是爱上他了。 劳拉,Dear , Ruth and I have been good friends for three years. We talk about Sorts of things, and we know we can trust each other. She Recently moved to another town, so we don't see each other as often as we used to. I miss her, but I store up all sorts of things to tell her the next time we can get together. I look forward to having our friendship grow even deeper. You know, I think I might be in love with her. What do you think? Daniel 亲爱的： 我和露丝交友三年了。我们无所不谈，彼此信任。她最近搬到 另一座城市去了，所以我们现在不像以前那样常常见面了。我 很想她，但我把所有要说的话都留到了下次跟她见面的时候再 说。我希望我们的友谊能够更进一步。你看，我想我可能爱上 她了。你觉得呢？ 丹尼尔,II. Comparing love with its counterfeit 对比真爱和虚假的爱,Love is the foundation for any strong and lasting relationship. 爱是所有坚实恒久关系的基础。,讨论:什么是真爱?什么是假爱?,“LOVE” 爱, Respect of the other person and self-respect 尊重别人、尊重自己, Enjoyment of the relationship 享受两个人的关系, Fun, sense of humor about life 愉悦感、对生活的幽默感, Affection demonstrated 情感的表达, Comfortable with partner having other friends and interests 乐意接受伴侣的其他朋友和不同的兴趣爱好, Patience in allowing the relationship to develop over time 耐心等待两个人关系的发展, Respect of partner's ideas, values, and beliefs 尊重伴侣的想法、价值观和信仰, Responsible to control my own physical desires 有责任控制自己肉体上的需要, Secure in partner's love 在伴侣的爱中有安全感, Foundation of friendship 友情的基础, Honest and open communication 坦诚的交流, Sensitive to partner's needs 关注伴侣的需要,Intimacy includes much more than the physical realm. People who love one another strive toward emotional, mental, social, moral and spiritual intimacy, not just physical intimacy. 亲密远不止步于肉体上的亲近。真正相爱的 人追求情感、心理、社会、道德和灵魂这所 有方面的亲密关系，绝不仅限于肉体。,“SOMETHING ELSE” 别的什么, Discounting of partner's ideas, values, beliefs, and emotions 不顾对方的想法、价值观、信仰和情感, Relationship becomes burdensome 两人的关系成为负累。, Fun, sense of humor become harder to maintain 快乐和幽默感变得很难实现, Takes rather than gives 索取而不是给予, Prominent jealousy 强烈的嫉妒, Pressure put on partner to yield to physical desires 强迫伴侣满足自己的性需要, Neglect of everyone and everything but partner 忽略伴侣之外的人和事, Growing neglect of partner 慢慢忽略伴侣, Insensitivity to partner's needs 不关注伴侣的需要, Domination of one partner by the other (possible violence) 一方对另一方的控制（可能的暴力）, Broken promises and lack of trust 违背诺言，缺乏信任, Guarded communication 有防备的沟通, Nagging doubts about the relationship 对两人的关系挑剔怀疑,Remember: 记住:,Love never puts the other person at risk. 爱是决不将对方置于危险之中,Expressing love 爱的品质,Love is valuing someone, which must be practiced and expressed in day-to-day life. Love is not tested or proved in romantic settings, but in the most difficult and mundane circumstances of life. 爱是将别人看为重要。爱是必须在每天的生活中 操练和表达的。在浪漫中，爱是无法检验或证明 的，只有在最艰难、最平凡的生活环境中才能检 验出真爱。,A person demonstrating true love is: 一个人表达的真爱是：, Patient 忍耐, Kind 仁慈, Trusting 信任别人, Loyal 忠实, Glad Whenever Truth Wins Out 喜爱真理, Able to Endure 能够忍耐, Protecting 保护对方, Forgiving 能够原谅, Hopeful 充满盼望, Well Mannered 有礼貌, Committed Forever 永远忠诚, Not Demanding His/Her Own Way 不求自己的益处, Not Irritable or Touchy 不轻易发怒, Not Envious 不嫉妒, Not Boastful 不自夸, Not Selfish 不自私, Not Glad About Injustice 不喜欢不义, Not Rude 不张狂, Does Not Hold Grudges 不计算人的恶,1. Which two qualities of love would you most like the person you fall in love with to have? 哪两个爱的特征是你最希望你的爱人拥有的？,2. Which two qualities of love would you most like to develop in your life as a gift to the person with whom you will fall in love? 你最希望自己具备哪两个爱的特征，培养这两个品格， 并把它们当作礼物送给你的爱人？,IV. Small Group discussion 小组讨论,3. Choose one of the two qualities you listed above. What can you do today to demonstrate this quality to a friend or family member? (Remember, the sculpting of our habits takes lots of practice.) 选择你所列出的上面两个品格特征中的一个,哪一个你能今天证明给你的朋友或是家人的?(记住,我们习性的塑造是需要很多的练习) 4. 你会怎样约会？（发资料）,讨论: 如果是别的, 怎么办? 有可能转化成真爱吗? 作为一种可能, 应该如何分手? 现实中有分手经验可以分享吗?,如果是别的，怎么办?,如何转化? 误以为的爱:迷恋性欲控制别人的病态 从迷恋到真爱的可能性比从虐待到真爱的可能性大得多 如何分手? 分手往往是伤人的 分手所带来的痛苦要比离婚的痛苦小得多 当我们发现不能在对方身上找到所需的那种终身伴侣所具备的品德时，结束是最好的选择。 如果人们有足够勇气和自由去结束一段不适合自己的恋爱关系，就会避免多少心碎、离婚或家庭暴力! 只有当心灵上的需要得到满足后，现实需要才会被满足。,Here's a situation to consider:,Bob and Lucy have known each other for three months and say they are very much in love. They are both 21 years old and planning to get married. But they cannot get married for at least another two years. 鲍勃和露西认识三个月了，他们说彼此相爱。两个人 都只有 21岁，并打算将来结婚。但他们必须再等两 年才能结婚。,Girls: Lucy comes to you and says, “I know Bob really loves me and wants to have sex with me, what do you think I should do?” 女生：如果露西来找你并说：“我知道鲍勃是真的 爱我，并想和我发生性关系，你觉得我该怎么？” What would you tell her? Why? 你会告诉她什么？为什么？,Boys: Bob comes to you and says, “I really love Lucy and don't think I can stand to wait two years until we can get married. If we really love each other, what would be wrong with having sex now?” 男生们：如果鲍勃来找你并说：“我真的很爱露西， 我觉得我等不了两年以后。如果我们真爱对方，那 么现在发生性关系有什么错？” What will you say to him? Why? 你会告诉他什么？为什么？,发生了性关系又怎样?,身边的例子: 一位大一女生心理不安、烦恼？为第一次而结婚？为独身做预备？ 一位大一女生忧郁、默认、恐惧无人嫁？ 一位大二女生流产、疾病、失眠、分手、自杀、同性关系 一位大三女生流产、失眠、性心理取向、耻辱感 一位大四女生痛苦、噩梦、被控制、被虐待、被辱骂 讨论: 为什么他们会发生性关系?女生原因是什么？男生原因是什么？ 婚前发生性关系有什么可能的结果？,婚前性关系的可能结果,带来情感上的伤害 使人很难再信任人 使人感染性病或生殖系统疾病 对自己和对方的误用 是一种不完全的关系 将爱的表达置于承诺之后 对彼此的承诺无促进作用,太早和某人确定恋爱关系的可能后果：,忽略你的朋友 感觉被困住 被控制和企图控制别人 受伤害或伤害别人 错失一些友情 将情感、感觉错当成爱 卷进不当的性关系。,Why Wait? 为什么要等待,Why Wait? 为什么要等待,Rules protect us! 保护我们的原则,Why Wait? 为什么要等待,Rules protect us! 保护我们的原则,I. First protective wall Physical reasons 第一道保护的城墙身体原因,A. Physical Reason #1: Protection from hurting our own bodies 身体原因1：避免自己的身体受到伤害,B. Physical Reason #2: Protection from an addiction to premarital sex 身体原因2：避免沉溺于婚前性行为 而不能自拔,C. Physical Reason #3: Protection from sexually transmitted diseases (STD's) 身体原因3：避免感染性病,D. Physical Reason #4: Protection against unwanted pregnancy and abortion 身体原因4：避免造成意外怀孕及流 产,E. Physical Reason # 5: Providing for beauty in the marriage relationship 身体原因5：为婚姻关系提供美好的享 受,II. SECOND PROTECTIVE WALL - EMOTIONAL REASONS 第二道保护的城墙 情感原因,II. SECOND PROTECTIVE WALL - EMOTIONAL REASONS 第二道保护的城墙 情感原因,A. Emotional Reason #1: Protection from having our acceptance based on our performance 情感原因1：避免建立在行为基础上 的接受,B. Emotional Reason #2: Protection from guilt 情感原因2：避免犯罪,C. Emotional Reason #3: Protection from misleading feelings 情感原因3：避免误会的感情,D. Emotional Reason #4: Protection from the hardships of breaking up 情感原因4：避免面对分手的艰难,E. Emotional Reason #5: Protection from psychological and emotional distress 情感原因5：避免心理和情感上的忧伤,F. Emotional Reason #6: Protection of our self-esteem 情感原因6：保护自尊,G. Emotional Reason #7: Provides for the richness of maturity 情感原因7：拥有成熟的情感,H. Emotional Reason #8: Provides an affirmation of our dignity 情感原因8：对个人尊严的肯定,I. Emotional Reason #9: Provides a shared memory 情感原因9：拥有共同的回忆,III. THIRD PROTECTIVE WALL - RELATIONAL REASONS 第三道保护城墙 相关原因,A. Relational Reason #1: Protection from communication breakdowns 相关原因1：避免交流障碍,B. Relational Reason #2: Protection from difficult courtships 相关原因2：避免求爱受挫,C. Relational Reason #3: Protection from an involuntary comparison of former sexual partners 相关原因3：避免不知不觉地与之前 的性伴侣进行对比,D. Relational Reason #4: Protection from damaged family relationships 相关原因4：避免破碎的家庭关系,E. Relational Reason #5: Provides for a special relationship found only in marriage 相关原因5：只在婚姻中拥有这种特 殊的关系基础,IV. FOURTH WALL OF PROTECTION MORAL/SPIRITUAL REASONS 第四道保护的城墙 道德/心灵原因,IV. FOURTH WALL OF PROTECTION MORAL/SPIRITUAL REASONS 第四道保护的城墙 道德/心灵原因,A. Moral/Spiritual Reason #1: Protection of our value and dignity 道德/心灵原因1：价值观和尊严的保 护,B. Moral/Spiritual Reason #2: Demonstrate respect, patience, and self-control 道德/心灵原因2：表现出尊重、耐心 和自制,B. Moral/Spiritual Reason #2: Demonstrate respect, patience, and self-control 道德/心灵原因2：表现出尊重、耐心 和自制,C. Moral/Spiritual Reason #3: Provides a stronger love. 道德/心灵原因3：拥有坚贞的爱情,V. THE MOST COMMON COUNTER-ARGUMENTS 最常见的辩论,V. THE MOST COMMON COUNTER-ARGUMENTS 最常见的辩论,A. How do we know we suit each other unless we have sex together before marriage? 婚前若没有发生性关系怎么知道我们 是否合适？,V. THE MOST COMMON COUNTER-ARGUMENTS 最常见的辩论,A. How do we know we suit each other unless we have sex together before marriage? 婚前若没有发生性关系怎么知道我们 是否合适？,B. I'll go crazy if I don't sleep with someone! 不和那个人发生关系我会受不了！,C. HOW CAN WE COPE WITH SEXUAL PRESSURE? 我们怎样应对性冲动？,1. Principle #l: Set standards beforehand. 原则1：预先设立一些规定。,2. Principle #2: Be accountable 原则2：负责任,3. Principle #3: Avoid sexually orientated media 原则3：避免接触有性导向的媒体,4. Principle #4: Choose companions carefully 原则4：选择同伴要谨慎,5. Principle #5: Seek other peoples wisdom 原则5：学习别人的智慧,28 POSITIVE REASONS TO WAIT 等待的积极因素,1. Abstinence protects you from both the fear of and the consequences of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). 节制使你免于经受对性传染疾病的恐惧和 后果。,2. Abstinence frees you from the fear and consequences of pregnancy. 节制使你免于经受怀孕的恐慌和后果。,3. Abstinence frees you from the dangers of various birth control methods. 节制使你免于面对采用各种避孕手段的危 险之中。,4. Abstinence frees you from the trauma of abortion. 节制使你免受流产的痛苦。,5. Abstinence protects you from sexual addiction. 节制使你免于沉溺于性,6. Abstinence frees you from the pressure to get married before you are ready. 节制使你免于面对没做好准备就结婚的压 力。,7. Abstinence frees you from being valued on a performance basis. 节制使你不必因着行为而被人评价。,8. Abstinence protects you from comparison later in marriage. 节制使你免于在婚后被拿来对比。,9. Abstinence protects your most delicate sex organ-your mind. 节制可以保护你最敏感的性器官 情 绪,Abstinence protects you from feelings that can mislead you. 节制可以使你摆脱误导你的感情。,11. Abstinence protects you from sustaining “bad“ relationships. 节制使你不必维持不好的关系。,12. Abstinence frees you from the trauma of having to give up your baby for adoption. 节制使你免于经受因流产而放弃自己孩子 的打击。,13. Abstinence helps you avoid deep scars. 节制帮你避免留下深深的伤疤。,14. Abstinence provides a basis of trust. 节制提供了信任的基础。,15. Abstinence helps you develop respect for life. 节制帮助你懂得尊重生活。,16. Abstinence frees you to focus your energy on establishing and realizing life goals. 节制使你能专心在建立并实现生活目标之 上。,17. Abstinence gives freedom from guilt. 节制使人从罪中解脱出来。,18. Abstinence helps develop unselfish sensitivity. 节制有助于培养不自私的敏感性。,19. Abstinence enhances true communication in a relationship. 节制在关系中加强了真正意义上的沟通。,20. Abstinence helps build patience and self-control. 节制有助于培养耐心和自制能力。,21. Abstinence helps to enhance the special relationship found only in marriage. 节制有助于加强婚姻中的特殊关系基础。,23. Abstinence provides freedom to enjoy being a young person. 节制提供了享受作年轻人的自由。,22. Abstinence helps develop positive principles of relational growth. 节制有助于发展关系成长的积极原则。,24. Abstinence provides one of the greatest gifts of true love- virginity. 节制提供了真爱的最好礼物之一 贞操,25. Abstinence helps increase self-esteem. 节制有助于提高自尊。,26. Abstinence can be a good “test“ of love. 节制可以是爱情的一个很好的“试卷”。,27. Abstinence can make you a better lover. 节制可以使你成为一个更好的爱人。,28. Abstinence can be an expression of emotional integrity. 节制可以成为纯洁感情的表达。,