帮学生从书面表达中争取点分数.ppt

帮学生从书面表达中争取点分数,错在哪里？ 如何应对？ 动态预测！,错在哪里？ 1审题不仔细，遗漏要点 2过渡不自然，单纯翻译 3. 逻辑不恰当，有悖常理 4表达不丰富，结构单调 5语言不地道，汉式思维 6用词不贴切，缺乏积累 7语法不正确，错误不断 8书写不规范，多词少词,1审题不仔细，遗漏要点 例如：假设你是李华，在美国探亲。2000年2月8日清晨，你目击一起交通事故。警察局让你写一份材料，报告当时所见情况。请根据下列图画写出报告。 注意： 1目击者应该准确报告事实； 2词数100左右； 3结尾已为你写好。,下面的文章中遗漏了什么？ It was 7 : 15 on the morning of February 8, 2000. I was walking along Park Road towards the east when an elderly man came out of the park on the other side of the street. Then I saw a car drive up Third Street and make a right turn into Park Road. The next moment the car hit the man while he was crossing the road. He fell with a cry. The car didn't stop but drove off at great speed heading west. About two minutes later I stopped a passing car and took the old man to the nearest hospital. Li Hua,评分提示： ·覆盖所有内容要点（21一25分） ·虽漏掉1、2个次重点，但覆盖所有主要内容（16一20分） ·虽漏掉一些内容，但覆盖所有主要内容（11一15分） ·漏掉或未描述清楚一些主要内容，写了一些无关内容（6一10分） ·明显遗漏主要内容，写了一些无关内容，原因可能是未理解试题要求 （1一5分）,本题图文结合，审题时要重视细节。 ·明确完成本题的最终结果是写出一篇目击者的报告，用第一人称写； ·认真审图，确认全部信息要点： 图中的环境条件；人物位置（此点对完成本题十分重要）；人物活动；人物表情；空间结构；图中的全部附加文字（英语和汉语）。 ·确定内容要点： 时间：2000年2月8日早晨7点15分； 地点：公园路公园门前； 我正沿公园路向东走； 一辆汽车从第3街向右拐，驶入公园路时撞倒了一位过街的老人； 汽车未停，沿公园路向西开走； 汽车是黄色的，车牌号是AC864，司机是一位女性。,One Possible version: It was 7 : 15 on the morning of February 8, 2000. I was walking along Park Road towards the east when an elderly man came out of the park on the other side of the street. Then I saw a yellow car drive up Third Street and make a right turn into Park Road. The next moment the car hit the man while he was crossing the road. He fell with a cry. The car didn't stop but drove off at great speed heading west. I noticed the driver was a young woman and the plate number was AC864. About two minutes later I stopped a passing car and took the old man to the nearest hospital. Li Hua,完全背离了题目要求。 有一篇书面表达要求学生以一位美籍华人的身份描述中国妇女地位的变化，用第一人称写。 有学生写道： When I was young, I had no job. All I could do was to stay at home to do the housework. 这位学生用了第一人称，但是，他是以一个中国妇女的身份写作的，与题目要求不一致。,2过渡不自然，单纯翻译 例如：有一篇书面表达要求学生叙述国庆节去北京动物园的情况。 有位学生写道：Today is National Day. Li Ming and I went to Beijing Zoo. We took the No. 15 bus. We got there ten minutes later. There were many people in the zoo. Most of them were children. In the zoo, we saw elephants. We saw bears. We saw lions. At 12 oclock, we went back home. We had a wonderful day today. We felt tired. We felt happy. 这位学生把该表达的内容都写出来了，而且没有句子结构方面的错误，但是，他写的不是一篇短文，而是孤零零的句子。,评分提示： ·有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑（21一25分） ·应用简单的语句间连接成分，使全文结构紧凑（16一20分） ·应用简单的语句间连接成分，使全文内容连贯（11一15分） ·较少使用语句间的连接成分，内容缺少连贯性（6一10分） ·缺乏语句间的连接成分，内容不连贯 （1一5分）,有效地运用连接词，使上下文连贯流畅。 Today is National Day. Li Ming and I went to Beijing Zoo. We took the No. 15 bus and ten minutes later we got there. There were many people in the zoo, most of whom were children. In the zoo, we saw many kinds of animals, such as elephants, bears and lions. At 12 oclock, we went back home. What a wonderful day we had today. Although we were tired， we felt very happy.,3. 逻辑不恰当，有悖常理,Pollution A chemical factory lies near my home. It gave out lots of smoke, which harmed peoples health, but the manager paid no attention. Then the factory was forced to stop production and the manager said angrily, “Is there any evidence to show that we did harm to peoples health? In fact, we havent.” Just then, a doctor came, with the result of the medical exam, saying the manager was suffering a lung cancer. It is very clear that the pollution has harmed not only people around the factory but also the manager himself. The manager was criticized by the government. Now he has realized the importance of keeping the air clean.,Pollution A chemical factory lies near my home. The manager was criticized by the government because the factory gave out lots of harmful smoke every day, but he paid no attention. Then the factory was forced to stop production and the manager said angrily, “Is there any evidence to show that we did harm to peoples health? In fact, we havent.” Just then, a doctor came, with the result of the medical exam, saying the manager was suffering a lung cancer. It is very clear that the pollution has harmed not only the people around the factory but also the manager himself. The manager regretted having caused so much pollution. Now he has realized the importance of keeping the air clean.,4表达不丰富，结构单调 有的考生怕犯语法错误，一味地使用简单句。 例如： The entrance fees are charged. People will not come. Walls and gates should be built. They will not make the city look bad.,评分提示： ·应用了较多的语法结构和词汇（21一25分） ·应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求（16一20分） ·应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求（11一15分） ·语法结构单调、词汇项目有限（6一10分） ·语法结构单调、词汇项目有限（1一5分）,短语、从句使短文更富有表现力。 Charging entrance fees will no doubt keep some people away. What is more，it will become necessary to build gates and walls，which will do harm to the appearance of a city.,5语言不地道，汉式思维 例如：2002年给英文报纸写信。 原本应写I am writing to tell you about the discussion weve just had about whether an entrance fee should be charged for parks. 但不少同学都写成I want to tell you about the discussion weve had about whether an entrance fee should be charged for parks. 就I wan to tell you而言，本身没有错，但用在此处就不符合英语习惯了。,6用词不贴切，缺乏积累 由于平日积累太少，或没记准词义及用法，学生在词汇的选择上经常出现错误。 例如：2002年北京卷 最后部分应写Li Ming then put up the tent，and I made a fire and started cooking. 有学生写成Then we set up the camp and set fire to cook food. 姑且不谈to cook food的对错，单就set fire而言就是个不可原谅的错误，set fire to a place系纵火烧某处，显而易见是对make a fire这个词组没有掌握。,7语法不正确，错误不断 【误】Can you tell Asia elephants from Africa? 【正】Can you tell Asian elephants from African ones? 【误】He will remember firmly that the teacher said and did. 【正】He will remember clearly what the teacher said and did.,评分提示：·语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽量使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致；具备较强的语言应用能力（21一25分） ·语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确，些许错误主要是因尝试较复杂语法结构或词汇所致 （16一20分） ·有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，但不影响理解（11一15分） ·有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，影响了对写作内容的理解（6一10分） ·较多语法结构或词汇方面的错误，影响对写作内容的理解 （1一5分）,评分原则： ·拼写与标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面，评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑。英、美拼写及词汇用法均可接受。,8书写不规范，多词少词 评分原则： ·词数少于80和多于120的，从总分中减去2分。 ·如书写较差，以至影响交际，将分数降低一个档次。 说明： 1内容要点可用不同方式表达。 2对紧扣主题的适当发挥不予扣分。,如何应对？ 1建立训练模型 2训练句式转换 3教学过渡用语 4强化短文改错,1建立训练模型 教师：题目+短语/句型 学生：初稿+自改 师生：面批/择评 学生：自改/誊清,教师点评 结构：开头-中间-结尾/格式 内容：要点-逻辑-情理 语言：语法-词汇/短语-句型 行文：过渡-亮点,2训练句式转换 简单句合并为简单句 简单句合并为并列句 简单句合并为主从句,简单句合并为简单句： 用连词and, bothand, nor, neithernor, or, eitheror, as well as, not onlybut also, as much as, rather than, more than等， 例如： We cannot expect her to do housework. And we cannot expect her to look after the children. We can neither expect her to do housework nor look after the children.,用同位语，例如： Edison was a great inventor. He was born in 1847. Edison, a great inventor, was born in 1847. 用介词短语，例如： The boy was in bad health. He was therefore unable to do it. Because of his bad health, the boy was unable to do it.,用不定式短语，例如： She is very young. She cant go to school. She is too young to go to school. 用分词短语，例如： I saw a bus. It came slowly up to me. I saw a bus coming slowly up to me. 用形容词（短语），例如： They spent several days in the wind and snow. They were cold and hungry. They spent several days in the wind and snow, cold and hungry.,用副词短语，例如： I will return to this point in my lecture. It will be in a little while. I will return to this point in my lecture soon. 用独立结构，例如： My father was ill. I had to stay at home. My father being ill, I had to stay at home.,简单句合并为并列句： 表示句与句之间关系平等，而意义引申，主要连词有： and，例如： She has lent us one of her new books. The book is the latest one in her collection. She has lent us one of her new books and it is the latest one in her collection.（表示增补） He is jack-of-all-trades. He is master of none. He is jack-of-all-trades and he is master of none.（含义向否定引申）,An urgent telegram was sent to her husband. She was waiting for his reply. An urgent telegram was sent to her husband and she was waiting for his reply.（表示动作先后） The day is short. The work is heavy. The day is short and the work is heavy. （表示让步） Think it over again. You will find a way out. Think it over again and you will find a way out.（表示条件） Many of the papers are good. These papers are the best. Many of the papers are good and these papers are the best.（表示对比）,They have finished half of it. This is not bad. They have finished half of it and this is not bad.（表示评注） not onlybut also，例如： He said it. He did it too. Not only did he say it, but also he did it. nor, neither, neithernor，例如： Mary cant speak French. Jane cant speak French either. Neither can Mary speak French, nor can Jane.,表示选择关系，主要连词有：or, eitheror, whetheror, otherwise等，例如： Stop! If not, I will shoot. Stop or Ill shoot. You must behave yourself. Youll never go out with me again. Either you must behave yourself , or youll never go out with me again.,表示转折关系或对比关系，主要连词有：but, still, yet, however, on the other hand, all the same, though, after all, while等，例如： Tom was not here. His brother was here. Tom was not here, but his brother was. There is no milk in the container. You can find some in the kitchen. There is no milk in the container but you can find some in the kitchen.,表示因果关系，主要连词有：for, so, therefore, thus, in that case等，例如： He was absent this morning. He was ill. He was absent this morning for he was ill. 用when，表示突然发生，相当于just then, just at that time/moment，常用结构有： was (were, did)when，例如： He was on his way home. Suddenly two boys stopped him. He was on his way home, when two boys stopped him.,was (were) doingwhen，例如： I was thinking of this. Suddenly I heard my name called. I was thinking of this, when I heard my name called. was (were) (just) about to dowhen，例如： I was just about to pick up the receiver. At that moment the phone stopped ringing. I was just about to pick up the receiver, when the phone stopped ringing. had (just) donewhen，例如： Harry had just left home. His son rushed out to play. Harry had just left home , when his son rushed out to play.,简单句合并为主从句： 名词从句： 主语从句，例如： You didn't go to see such a wonderful play. It's a pity. It's a pity that you didnt go to see such a wonderful play.,宾语从句，例如： He is going somewhere. I dont know. I dont know where he is going. 直接引语，例如： What should we do first? This is my question. This is my question: “What we should do first?”,表语从句，例如： Can we finish our work by tomorrow evening? That is my question. My question is whether we can finish our work by tomorrow evening 同位语从句，例如： What did he come here for? I tried to find the explanation to this question. I tried to find the explanation to this question what he came here for.,定语从句： 用关系代词，例如： In our courtyard there was a big date tree. I liked it very much. In our courtyard there was a big date tree, which I liked very much.,用关系副词，例如： He will never forget the day. He joined the League on that day. He will never forget the day when (on which) he joined the League. 用whose，例如： A young man from your college has brought you this parcel. I have forgotten his name. A young man from your college, whose name I have forgotten, has brought you this parcel.,状语从句： 表示时间，例如： He told me yesterday. I heard about it only then. I didnt hear about it until he told me yesterday. 表示地点，例如： He put his book on the kitchen table. He found it there. He found his book where he put it.,表示原因，例如： Everybody is present. Lets begin our discussion. Since everybody is present, lets begin our discussion. 表示目的，例如： We must listen more and speak more. In this way well be able to learn English better. We must listen more and speak more so that well be able to learn English better.,表示结果，例如： It was raining cats and dogs. We couldnt go out. It was raining so hard that we couldnt go out. 表示条件，例如： You can go out. You must promise to come back before eleven. You can go out as long as you promise to come back before eleven.,表示比较，例如： The color of your cap is blue. The color of mine is blue too. Your cap is the same color as mine . 表示让步，例如： He has had great success. He is working very hard. Though he has had great success, he is still working very hard. 表示方式，例如： He did the experiment. His teacher showed him how to do it. He did the experiment as his teacher showed him.,3教学过渡用语 表示时间关系的过渡词语：first, in the beginning, first of all, next, second, then, soon, meanwhile, meantime, in the meantime, now, earlier, later, after that, afterward, at that moment, by that time, from then on, presently, eventually, at last, finally, before., after., since., when., while., as soon as., once., until.,表示添加的过渡词语：and, also, too, again, besides, also, another, moreover, furthermore, in addition, as well as, what is more 表示比较的过渡词语：like, alike, in comparison, likewise, in the same way, at the same time, similarly, in like manner, as, as well as,表示对照的过渡同语：but, yet, still, however, unlike, instead, whereas, in spite of, despite, on the contrary, in contrast, on the other hand, though, although, for one thingfor another 表示原因的过渡词语：because, for, since, as, because of, due to, owing to, thanks to 表示结果的过渡词语：so, thus, therefore, hence, so that, as a result, in this / that way,表示例证的过渡同语：for example, for instance, such as, that is, namely, in particular, specifically, as proof of 表示总结的过渡词语：to sum up, to conclude, to summarize, on the whole, all in all, lastly, in short , in brief, in a word, in conclusion, in closing, in summary,表示强调的过渡词语：surely, certainly, truly, undoubtedly, clearly, indeed, in fact, after all, above all, most important, to be sure, without doubt, without a question, as a matter of fact 表示重述的过渡词语：in other words, that is to say, in simpler terms, simply stated, to put it differently,表示综述的过渡词语：generally, generally speaking, in general, in a word, in short, on the whole, as a rule, for the most part 表示让步的过渡词语：anyhow, anyway, of course, however, in any case, at any rate,4强化短文改错 一致性问题 主谓一致 a. The new boy or girl in school quickly become one of the class after a few games. 主语the boy or girl是单数，谓语动词也要用单数becomes。 b. Every means have been tried to settle the problem. 主语every means为单数概念，故将have改为has。,单复数一致 a. We have been to Europe many time. time改为times。 b. Different people speak different language. language改为languages。 代词一致 a. The game speaks for themselves. themselves改为itself。 b. And I cant forget the food you cooked for I. I改为me。 c. Nothing will be damaged during the move, will they？ they改为it。,时态语态一致 a. Today, it is much easier to be healthy than it is in the past. is改为was，与in the past保持一致。 b. He knew how young people feel about the world. feel改为felt，与knew保持一致。 c. She closed the door and hurries away to class. 改为She closed the door and hurried away to class. hurried时态跟and前的closed保持一致。 d. Books may be keeping for two weeks. 此句为被动语态，故将keep改为过去分词kept。,搭配问题 People in industrial countries can expect to live for twice so long as people who lived a few hundred years ago. so long as改为as long as。 Mother is cooking tea for the guests. cooking改为making。 make tea为习惯表达。 The glass is filled of water. of改为with，固定词组为be filled with。 When they came down the police were angry to them. to改为with，be angry with sb为固定搭配。,非谓语动词 He allowed me go with my friend. go前加to，allow sb to do sthallow与带to的不定式连用。 Let me to sing a song. 去掉to，let